Having RA brings about many different feelings, reactions, emotions, etc. Lately, in the middle of a particularly nasty flare, it’s become increasingly harder to get going and move around. The best analogy that comes to mind is of a deep-sea diver with lots of weight attached to your body. I’ve never dived before but can imagine that all that weight, the added water pressure of being deep undersea, breathing limited by the special gas mixtures, and the movement slowed by water makes one move incredibly slow.
Waking up in the morning may take 2-3 hours. Often times I will wake up at 5-6 a.m., stumble downstairs in the dark, take my daily prescribed pills, grab something to eat, then find myself on the coach wrapped up in a blanket and falling back to sleep until 8 or 9. Once getting up to really start the day, things move pretty slow. My head feels groggy from poor quality sleep and maybe even from side effects of various medications. Everything takes a little extra time while the joints loosen up. Forcing oneself to get going is a daily struggle. Sometimes inertia gains the upper hand and as Isaac Newton said, “a body at rest remains at rest”. Getting 6-8 hours of productive time represents a good day. Pushing beyond that, which is tempting with a type A personality, only results in feeling worse.
At least today offers an opportunity to work from home and slow down a little bit. But I’m tempted to dive in full bore and seek all of the “adventures” that lie before me. But I must pull back and move slowly with all of the “weight” attached.
As another type A this really resonates. The pain I can cope with – just – but losing efficiency? Falling behind? Making time to deal with difficult emotions? That’s really tough, and head in the sand is the short term solution which only compounds the problem. Taking 3 hours to get going sucks but it’s the way the disease is and we have to adjust to it as we can’t change it. Thanks for sharing.
This describes this feeling perfectly. I’ve always said I feel like I’m walking through water but the idea of weights describes it even better.
Yep, and everyday the weights feel different! Thanks for reading.