We make plans for our lives, get used to the regular patterns that develop, and act as though nothing will ever change…then RA throws a curve ball. My RA symptoms have not been under control for sometime now, it’s clear that yet another treatment strategy is going to be required, and the treatment options are getting few and far between. Since RA is getting the best of me lately, something had to give and this past week it became clear after much thought and advice seeking that I could not maintain the same level of work that I have engaged in for so many years (I’m a college professor). I finally approached my boss and told him the situation and asked to be relieved of a large portion of my administrative duties which took up the bulk of my time and energies and instead focus primarily on teaching. He was very understanding, made the adjustments, and handled it with such great grace including even taking on some of the responsibilities himself. Such a change brought about a slew of mixed emotions going from relief to sadness that such changes were even required as I enjoy what I do. To add to the internal emotions, this change necessitated informing many people which of course brought concern and questioning. A huge curve ball was just thrown my direction.
During times like this it’s natural for many questions to arise such as…
- Will I be able to continue working in the future or will disability be required?
- Will RA ever get under control?
- Will more effective treatments or even a cure be developed in my lifetime?
- Since I seem to have failed so many treatments, what if I don’t respond to any of the few remaining choices?
But then I realized that life can’t be lived by asking a bunch of “what if” questions. Focusing on such things only leads to stress and turmoil.
In baseball, curve balls present one of the most difficult challenges. Many a fine player can’t make it to the major leagues because of one problem – they can’t hit a curve ball. Give them a typical fastball and they’ll smash it for hits all day long. But once they begin to face higher level pitchers who deliver a nasty curve ball, their hitting goes downhill fast. Former major league baseball player Doug Glanville wrote an interesting article published in the New York Times about hitting curve balls and how it relates to life struggles including his father’s chronic illness. He stated,
“What I found was that your approach doesn’t have to be any different from the one you use when dealing with — indulge me for a second — any other curveball life throws at you. We spend so much time cruising along, looking to hit the straight and dependable fastball, that the audacity of something different can cause us to forget any and every tactic that once gave us comfort and success.”
As he described his dealings with his father’s illness, he intimated that he had to roll with the changes and adjust as needed.
“I had to learn to approach this one with no bat and with a blindfold on. This I accomplished by trying to focus on the few things I could control about getting my father healthier. I did what I could, and left the rest to forces bigger than myself. Even though I didn’t hit a home run on this Olson-esque curveball, at least — by recognizing that it was outside my power to do much else — I didn’t, in a sense, chase a bad pitch.”
Glanville deftly noted that hitting a curve ball requires reaction and adjustment. You can’t keep approaching things the same all of the time and he suggests taking the crazy pitch in stride. This is excellent advice and I must learn to adjust, believe that that things will be fine, and trust that God sees the bigger picture.